Your little will can’t do anything. It takes Great Determination. Great Determination doesn’t mean just making an effort. It means the whole universe is behind you and with you – the birds, trees, sky, moon, and ten directions.
I created House kiron after realizing that for forty-three years I had lived a life of captivity filled with trauma, chronic stress, illness, and ignorance. After fighting for my freedom by going through my Hero’s Journey, I finally woke up.
I always thought that when I had found my authentic voice and my true strength that there would be a crowd cheering for me; my family would finally understand me; my body would be healed; that financial prosperity would me mine at long last; that I would have a home to call my own; and I would no longer feel so alone and orphaned. All my sorrow I had endured was nothing compared to what I experienced upon arriving in the here and now.
Like the story of Rip Van Winkle, I had finally awoken, but what I found was that the hope that I had recovered, the child like enthusiasm I had unleashed, and the unbridled passion of the will to live was in a world that time had ravished. Instead of cheering crowds, all of that potency and authenticity that I had fought so hard for only served to make me an outsider. My very existence was an indictment of their personal and collective captivity that most people try to repress at all cost. I realized for the first time that I never had a family to come home to.
My body was not young anymore and total healing was very unlikely. I had osteoarthritis in both knees and shoulders. Facet Joint Arthropathy caused parts of my back to fuse permanently pinching nerves in the lumbar causing severe chronic pain and restriction of movement. My back and knee problems required the use of a cane to walk Years of trauma, with its continual adrenal response, had wreaked havoc on my auto-immune system causing me to develop Reactive Arthritis (RA) at the age of twenty-eight, and then Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS). Fifteen years later I found out that the AS was misdiagnosed and re-diagnosed as Undifferentiated Spondyloarthropathy (USpA). The USpA kept my ligaments and tendons fragile (Enthesitis) which led to my shoulders being permanently unstable and constantly dislocating. Chronic fatigue shadowed every movement, and any sickness or pathogen in the air caused painful swelling in my knees, sacrum, and lungs.
A childhood of adoption, neglect, abuse, and abandonment had left me with an eighth grade education (at the age of 20 I had never read a book, and was tested and found to be functionally illiterate) and some college with little hope of a career. I found myself in poverty with no chance of owning my own home. The perpetual childhood trauma had left me with severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (P.T.S.D.). My mind is constantly put me in a flight or fight response when around other people. This has forced me to remain isolated which was the final act of self-betrayal. The P.T.S.D, when not fighting and defending, kept me depressed, afraid, and frozen.
Worst yet, that during the long sleep of my adult years, my P.T.S.D. and illnesses prevented me from participating and enjoying my wife and three children. I was an unpredictable ogre.
I had awakened to a horrible discovery. I was divorced with two of my children being adults and one a teenager. I had completely missed-out of being conscious during that time of my life. Guilt, regret, and damaged relationships were the reality of my waking life. I could never get that time back and the damage I caused could never be undone.
Regrets are illuminations come too late.
I remember going to a lecture by Luis J. Rodriguez, author of Always Running. His words stirred something inside of me, “If the community that you need doesn’t exist then create one!” The idea of House Kiron was to create a place where knowledge is accessible, where the non-aggression principle is the standard, where healing isn’t limited to how much money one had, where being fully alive was the norm, where finding your true authenticity was the only recognized authority, and where compassion was the default response to suffering.
Procuring the building materials for House Kiron motivated me to forcibly take knowledge that had previously been guarded by the gatekeepers of the respective disciplines of kinesiology, medicine, psychology, composition theory, philosophy, world religions, art, neurobiology, martial arts, and creativity theory. My lack of a formal education and financial resources could no longer be allowed to be used as a crutch.
The stories worth living are unverifiable until they have been lived. House Kiron can only be realized if I build it. So here it goes.
Living myths are not mistaken notions, and they do not spring from books. They are not to be judged as true or false but as effective or ineffective, maturative or pathogenic. They are rather like enzymes, products of the body in which they work; or in homogeneous social groups, products of a body social. They are not invented but occur, and are recognized by seers, and poets, to be then cultivated and employed as catalysts of spiritual (i.e., psychological) well-being. And so, finally, neither a stale and overdue nor a contrived, plastic mythology will serve; neither priest nor sociologist takes the place of the poet-seer – which, however, is what we all are in our dreams, though when we wake again we may render only prose.
-Joseph Campbell, The Flight of the Wild Gander: Explorations in the Mythological Dimension, p. xiv
Before I say what the tangible disciplines and philosophies that House Kiron actually does, I would like to encourage people in the following way. If you have enough money and support to seek help from certified professionals in the fields of medicine, counseling, and alternative therapies, and those therapies are working for you then please continue what you are doing.
If you have enough money, resources, and support to achieve knowledge through the systems of formal education like college or trade schools, and if that education is bringing contentment and authenticity in your life then please continue what you are doing.
The philosophy of House Kiron is not meant to change or be in conflict with the dominant culture’s attitudes, customs, and beliefs. But, if the dominant culture has left you disenfranchised, unhealthy, discontented, and powerless then House Kiron might be an option for you.
House Kiron is not a business, non-profit, or religion. It is an idea, community, and act of authenticity. Any service I provide is sponsored by donations (non-tax write-off).
What is it we are questing for? It is the fulfillment of that which is potential in each of us. Questing for it is not an ego trip; it is an adventure to bring into fulfillment your gift to the world, which is yourself. There’s nothing you can do that’s more important than being fulfilled. You become a sign, you become a signal, transparent to transcendence; in this way, you will find, live, and become a realization of your own personal myth.
Joseph Campbell, Pathways to Bliss
- What Is House Kiron (housekiron.wordpress.com)